How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
