Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
