You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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