got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
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