is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
