guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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