PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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