I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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