So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
