LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
