Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
