'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
3pm strippers are depressing
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
God I need to hump something, right now.
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