We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
