if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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