Having a random hookup so left but love u
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
