Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im about as happy as oj after his trial
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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