More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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