2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She said her name was "party"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
