Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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