her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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