How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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