You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
