Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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