I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
