The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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