You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
