Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
