Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
NoShamevember. You game?
I want to be your penis for a week.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
