i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
