I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
