Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
