What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
