just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
