you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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