So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
