Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
