ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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