I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
