guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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