i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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