i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
