she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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