dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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