PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
