"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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