Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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