he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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