guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
