I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
