the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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