Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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